Religion is not synonymous with spirituality according to Reverend Shawn Kafader, a chaplain at Friendship Village.  “In my own voice, I believe that every person has spirituality, whether or not they are aware of it. Spirituality is the part of us that connects with something beyond ourselves.  Something greater than ourselves,” he said.  Religion, he added, is one way to live out one’s spirituality. As a chaplain at the retirement community, Kafader helps residents maintain or find a spiritual practice rooted in a religion or faith tradition, with which they are comfortable and in which they can find great meaning.

As ages increase, so too does the inclination to become more spiritual. The cause and effect makes great sense.  It is inevitable that as people age, they are faced with increasing physical, cognitive, emotional and social challenges.  A natural and in fact healthy response to this is to seek coping mechanisms in which spirituality and/or religion can play a tremendous role.  Spiritual well-being promotes a sense of peace, purpose and connection to others.  Studies show that spiritual involvement amongst seniors often results in better physical and emotional health.

Kafader said that the aging process puts adults into a mode in which they’re constantly assessing what is truly important in their lives; what is really needed for their continued journey in life. “This forces them to reflect about what is important in their faith, what questions they have about their faith, and what kind of relationship they can have with something beyond this life.  A hope and peace-searching attitude develops,” Kafader said. The practice of a faith tradition “opens a door for them to explore things greater than themselves; power beyond themselves,” he said.

Kafader said that what is interesting and particularly challenging as a chaplain at Friendship Village is the varied religious make up of the resident population.   Virtually every faith tradition is represented at Friendship Village, and the spiritual team tries to accommodate them all. “We try to be sensitive to all people who will be attending any type of worship service,” he said. “Our stand is that we provide religious services in our residents’ traditions. We are very diverse and make sure that what we offer is diverse as well.”Often times, religious leaders from various faiths come to Friendship Village to help.

While the holiday season is one that many people eagerly anticipate, Kafader is sensitive to the fact that it is also one that some people dread due to loneliness and grief from their losses. “Some have outlived their families and friends and would be alone for the holidays.  So we create more community, more opportunities for people to be together. Our religious service is a wonderful opportunity for that. The message is that everyone is loved. That God loves them, and God understands their pain too,” he said.

During the holiday season, the message that Kafader likes to share with his community is that they should remember and celebrate the traditions that they’ve had through their lifetimes. “It’s a wonderful time to reminisce with people about the memories of their holiday celebrations, the simplicity of gifts they received while growing up, the baking and recipes they had, the traditions they had around their faith,” he said. “Some are gone now, but they can create new traditions for themselves and for their families.”

Friendship Village lifestyles director Michael McCann and chaplain Shawn Kafader will be teaching their program entitled Exploring the Male Journey: Understanding Your Past-Choosing Your Future at the Institute for Continued Learning of Roosevelt University early next year.

Mike and Shawn  developed the program over a year ago and have taught it successfully to residents of Friendship Village. Explaining the inception of the program, Mike said that a common and understandable phenomenon affecting retired men, is that they lose their purpose was they transition out of their professional lives. It is not unusual for retired men to have difficulty adjusting to life without identifiable quests, Mike said. This can result in depression and a loss of identity and feeling of value.  This impacts one’s health, as well as taking a toll on families and surrounding communities.

Mike and Shawn, who both have backgrounds in counseling, developed the program to help men navigate this potentially difficult time.  During the course, the participants will reflect on their past, grieve life’s losses, and be guided towards a path of wisdom in finishing their life’s journey.  The sessions include personal sharing, storytelling, and decision making.  The goal is to help the participants complete the program and assume the role of elder/mentor within their family and community.

The program will be available for members of ICLRU.

“The best thing about this event is the ability to thank all our volunteers,” said Jeff Rose, coordinator of Volunteer Services. “There are so many people who give their time and skills to help the residents of Friendship VIllage. It is also powerful to be able to thank our residents who take part in helping the local community through their outreach volunteer efforts.”

Rose reported that volunteer hours were up by 6.4% from 7,751 hours in 2010 to 8,246. The number of volunteers increased by 9.4% from 339 total volunteers in 2010 to 371 in 2011.

Volunteer Opportunities on the Friendship Village Campus

“Spiritual Care Visitors” is a new program where interested residents and community members are able to visit residents of the Briarwood Health Care Center to provide spiritual care. This group is led by Chaplain Shawn Kafader and consists of residents as well as outside volunteers.

Friendship Village is once again a site for 100 high school students to fulfill requirements for service hours as well as to give back and be volunteers within their local community. They participated in a variety of volunteer opportunities ranging from Wii bowling assistants to piano players.

Volunteers also help residents participate in Care Cap Crusaders and project Linus.

Community Outreach Volunteer Opportunities for Residents

The popularity of the outreach projects by residents accounts for a 44% increase in resident volunteer hours from 3,852 in 2010 to a staggering 5,557 in 2011.

Jeannette Magdaleno, Life Long Learning & Community Outreach Volunteer Coordinator, described the numerous resident volunteer outreach initiatives:

“Feed My Starving Children”  where Friendship Village volunteers packed 5,400 meals, which will feed 15 children for an entire year in 3rd world countries.

Hoover Friendship Garden project that began in 2010, with snow on the ground and ended with a brand new greenhouse and garden. This project will continue for years to come.

W.I.N.G.S – The mission of W.I.N.G.S. is to provide a continuum of integrated services in an effort to end domestic violence and homelessness, one family at a time. Friendship Village residents volunteer at their resale shop, sorting clothes and stocking shelves.

Willow Creek Food Pantry provides food and care for families in need. Residents volunteer weekly to pack bags with groceries.

“Intergenerational Fishing Event” is a local after-school program, where children can participate in a fishing event with our residents. This will continue in the future.

“Parent Day” for Children’s Home and Aid is an event that Friendship Village hosts for parents and families of Children’s Home and Aid on our campus. Residents also volunteer weekly to assist in the classroom with the children as part of this program.

Additional resident volunteer projects include the Go Green bicycle path cleanup and teachers aid volunteering at Aldrin School.

Volunteer Awards

Volunteer and outreach programs at Friendship Village are recognized with awards from numerous organizations. This past year, Friendship Village volunteers were recognized on five separate occasions for:

Care Cap Crusaders – “Halo of Hope Gold Award” – from 2009-2011 volunteers created 1,639 hats for cancer patients. Last year we also received the Halos of Hope Silver Award for our efforts

Life Services Network’s “Community Impact Award” – for the intergenerational program with The Hoover Greenhouse Project, and its impact on our local community.

The Volunteer Center of Northwest Suburban Chicago – “Impact Awards” recognized volunteers with an Honorable Mention – for work with The Hoover Greenhouse Project, and its impact on our local community

School District 54 Community Partner Award – “Super Partner” – for Friendship Village residents’ role as teachers aids in the classrooms and work on the greenhouse project.

Future projects for Friendship Village Volunteers

This year even more volunteer opportunities will be available for Friendship Village volunteers, such as: the creation of an intergenerational choir; acting as science fair judges at Hoover Math and Science Academy, recycling of grocery bags into practical applications along with other ideas in the planning stages.

“Our residents are continuing to make a difference in the world by volunteering in the outside community. They truly are setting an example to all of us of how important it is to help others. We hope this encourages others to explore opportunities to get involved and give back,” concluded Magdaleno.

Stephen Yenchek, President and CEO of Friendship Senior Options, the parent company to Friendship Village, participated in a panel for industry leaders. Their discussion entitled, “Make It To Market” provided insights regarding how to bring new projects to market after the post-crisis access to capital that has plagued the economy for the past two and one-half years.

Friendship Village Chaplin Shawn Kafader spoke about “Introducing Contemplative Spirituality with Seniors” in his one and one-half hour discussion. That afternoon he was joined by his fellow Friendship Village Chaplin, Richard Oas on the topic of “Toward an Interfaith Chaplain Ministry in a CCRC.” Since the community is faith-based and mission-driven, it is important to recognize every resident’s spiritual needs regardless of their denomination. Shawn and Richard epitomize this inclusiveness.

Lifestyle managers, Jeff Rose and Jeannette Magdaleno shared their story about resident volunteering with their audience. Residents Shirley Odegaard and Bob Green spoke as witnesses to the extensive outreach opportunities that Friendship Village makes available in the wider community. Both residents are avid volunteers and serve on numerous committees. Bob shared his story in a question and answer format with Jeff Rose. Shirley read her heartfelt message from a prepared speech.

So far many volunteers have stepped forward to share their presence and faith with their neighbors in Briarwood. These volunteers will bring the wealth of their faith traditions as well as the stories of their lives to their neighbors and friends across our Friendship Village campus. The focus of the program is not to change the beliefs of those that they visit, but to be present, listen and encourage their new friends on life’s journey. If requested and accepted, these visitors will share a scripture verse, share a prayer, or offer a blessing.

The program is entirely resident-centered. The visitor is not the center of attention; rather, they encourage and facilitate the expression of the resident’s faith and feeling about their life. As a resource for these volunteers, Chaplain Shawn has prepared a Spiritual Care Volunteer Handbook. This is a guide for volunteers reminding them of guidelines to be followed when visiting in a healthcare center as well as a spiritual resource to be used in preparing and making visits. This program is open to both Friendship Village residents and volunteers from the wider community.

“There can never be enough volunteers making these kind of visits,” says Chaplain Shawn. Monthly group meetings with Chaplain Shawn are requested of these volunteers. If you would be interested in participating in this Spiritual Care Volunteer program contact Friendship Village Volunteer Coordinator Jeff  Rose at 847-839-3647 or Chaplain Shawn Kafader at 847-884-5650.

Of the six areas of wellness recognized by Friendship Village, a spiritual focus is considered to be deeply fulfilling and remarkably significant in an individual’s overall well-being. Among the many faith-based opportunities found in the wellness programming at Friendship Village is the Centering Prayer Group. This ministry is a spiritual network of individuals and faith communities, devoting themselves to the use of Centering Prayer; a method of faithful meditation that has been practiced since the initial years of the Christian Church. This form of prayer has flourished in monastic communities, and was made known to the public by Thomas Keating, a Cisterian Monk. In the Centering Prayer Group at Friendship Village, members seek to fill one’s spirit with the presence of God while gently dismissing distracting thoughts that cloud the mind.

The group began at Friendship Village two years ago when a growing interest was shown by residents. As a result, Friendship Village hosted a weekend training seminar led by Contemplative Outreach of Chicago, an organization of centering prayer groups throughout the Chicagoland area. Friendship Village Chaplain Shawn Kafader has played a principle role in the development of the Centering Prayer Group. He attended the National Contemplative Outreach Convention last September and has written a weekly guidebook for the group. This companion has been a unique tool used not only by Friendship Village, but also other Centering Prayer groups across Chicago.

The Centering Prayer Group meets at 2 p.m. every Wednesday for an hour in the Friendship Center Chapel. Meetings begin with a Scripture reading and a devotional thought for the week. Members then enter into solitary silent prayer with God and the group closes by praying the Lord’s Prayer. A time of fellowship follows with an educational reading as well as group discussion and each member is encouraged to continue in biblical study and prayer in between group sessions. About six to twelve people participate in these meetings each week, providing an intimate occasion for spiritual community.

Friendship Village is listed on the Contemplative Outreach of Chicago’s website as open for public attendance. Worldwide, there are 180 Contemplative Outreach chapters, with over 40,000 people practicing Centering Prayer daily.  For more information about this organization visit their website centeringprayerchicago.org

Just as the earth needs both sunshine and rain to support life, both the good and bad in your life serve a purpose.  The bad times in life give you more of an appreciation for the good times.  Besides, there is no way to avoid life’s challenges.  Additionally, it is by overcoming hardship that you learn, grow and become stronger.

Excerpt from Bryan Golden’s article in the The Press July 23^rd 2009

Worshippers around the globe celebrate their faith and their blessings during this season.  Many find it a time of great joy, others struggle.  Sometimes the passing of time is the best solution to finding peace, hope and love in your hearts and all around you.

Regardless of your religion, spirituality is an important part of life that can become more important as we age.   And yet, advancing in years can threaten to cut one off from their spiritual practices due to changes in mobility, separation from religion or culture, death of a loved one, personal or family disaster or moving to a different place.

Friendship Village is firmly grounded in the importance of spiritual and religious practices not just because of our mission to serve older adults, but because we recognize the importance of these practices in everyone’s overall well-being, especially as they advance in years.

The  community has two ordained ministers who coordinate spiritual programming for more than 900 residents. The Rev. Shawn Kafader, also a licensed counselor, has been with Friendship Village since 2005. His ministry is among residents of Briarwood Healthcare Center and Reflections at Briarwood, providing memory support services in a skilled care setting. The Rev. Richard Oas, who is certified in Clinical Pastoral Education, has focused his ministry among residents of the community’s three residential living neighborhoods as well as The Willows Assisted Living since 2004.  They serve residents both individually and in groups.

Among retirement living communities, the Friendship Village Chaplaincy program is rare in its breadth and staffing.  The chaplains coordinate more than 25 worship services monthly. Baptist, Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, Episcopalian, Lutheran and Shabbat services are all well attended.  Bible studies flourish at the community, some led by residents, others by the chaplains.  Prayer groups and communion services also are part of the spiritual program.

“The cornerstone of the entire program is our desire to have a spiritual population that reflects each individual’s religious conviction,” Richard said. “Music is often the bond, and it is an important aspect of all services.”

Shawn personally interviews everyone who moves into Briarwood, including those who arrive for short-term rehabilitation. Despite visiting 40 to 60 people a month, he offers a spiritual assessment of each and is willing to assist people with their own life review.  In private discussions, Shawn guides people to reframe their experience of sorrows and tragedies to bring peace into their lives.

Peace is what we all want in our lives. No matter what faith you practice, what spiritual path you’re on, all of us at Friendship Village wish you the blessings of peace, hope and love during this holiday season and the New Year.